


Santa's Helper

by GemNika



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Christmas Cookies, Christmas Eve, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 05:57:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16444142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemNika/pseuds/GemNika
Summary: This wasn't how Laxus had planned on spending Christmas Eve, but he wasn't complaining. Christmas One-Shot. Rated M for a reason. [Complete]





	Santa's Helper

Snow crunched beneath his feet as he made his way down the path that led to his and Freed's home. It was a longstanding tradition with the two mages to spend the day together for Christmas Eve. Years ago, when Laxus and Freed were nothing more than friends, it had been a way for the Slayer to go somewhere away from the guild's insanity. He had a safe haven with his sole friend at the time, usually back at his grandfather's home - where the older man hardly spent any time with how busy he always was with the guild's business. And then, when Bickslow and Evergreen joined their group, the other two mages joined them to get away from everyone.

Now, Evergreen had a family of her own and was furthering the Strauss line with Elfman. Bickslow was off with Bacchus, having a drinking contest and probably getting himself laid out on his back by the Palm mage - in more ways than one. It meant that Laxus and Freed were back to just spending time together, just the two of them, all over again. At least, they did on Christmas Eve. It was just them, just Laxus and his little Rune mage. Just a Slayer and his mate.

He wasn't even supposed to be away from the house, to be honest. But Freed had written him a note that morning, letting him know that his grandfather had called and wanted him to come by for a little while. Just an hour or so. Away from the rowdy guild members, holed up in his goddamn office, doing paperwork. The old man knew he wouldn't want to do it, that the tradition he had with Freed was one he took  _very_  seriously. It wasn't just that they always spent the day together, or that they usually spent the night together too before they were mated.

No, it was that this was the one-year anniversary of Laxus asking Freed to bear his mark. It was their anniversary, and he was supposed to be home with Freed all day. From waking up in bed together in the morning to trading a single Christmas Eve gift, to going to bed sometime after the clock struck midnight, when it was finally Christmas. But, luckily, it had only been three hours. He'd forgotten just how much his grandfather had lamented promoting someone to S-Class every year, simply because of the sheer amount of paperwork that was involved in doing so. And, once he'd gotten there and found out that he needed to not only handle Freed's S-Class paperwork, but also that Bickslow was getting ready to leave the guild to go and be with his now-husband, Bacchus, Laxus realized that he didn't want anyone else handling the shit. He was going to miss the hell out of the Seith mage, but as long as the guy was happy, then so was he. And Freed… God, was he fucking proud of the Rune mage for making S-Class.

It was hardly even lunch, and Laxus was already on his way home. Sure, he could have teleported there and had the thin, lithe body he ached to hold wrapped in his arms again, but… He needed a little bit to calm the hell down.

As soon as the paperwork was done at the guild, Laxus had really laid into his grandfather over it. Only to find out that the old man had apparently forgotten it wasn't  _actually_  Christmas that he and Freed mated, but on Christmas Eve. Still, he wasn't in a good mood. Yeah, he wanted to be the one that handled both Freed and Bickslow's paperwork, because they were his teammates and best friends. But, that shit seriously could have waited another day. Hell, he would have been willing to take the shit home and deal with it, then bring it back  _on_  Christmas for his grandfather. But no. He'd been forced to spend three hours away from his mate and their home when all he wanted was to stay there with his arms wrapped around the man he loved. The only thing that would make the Lightning Slayer feel better was to have Freed's scent filling his nostrils, to run his fingers through those long green strands, and feel thin lips moving insistently, or tenderly, over his own fuller ones. Hell, just sitting on the couch and holding Freed's fucking  _hand_  would do the trick.

So, once their house came into his line of sight as he raised his gaze from the path before him, Laxus' steps quickened. They didn't actually live as far from the guild as most people thought. In fact, their house was technically on a piece of land that was owned by the guild at one point; something that was a present from his grandfather, who had said all Laxus had to do was fix what he found out later was his great-grandfather Yury's home up, and it (and the half-acre of land around it) was his. He had years of memories here, and most of them were with the man he could hear bustling around inside.

Normally, Freed wasn't one to bustle. Ever. Not when they were at home. In fact, Freed was endearingly lazy when it came time to move anywhere inside of their house, unless they were naked; then, he was wild as hell. He hardly ever wanted to leave Laxus' arms - not that the Slayer was complaining one bit about that, because he was much the same way - and then only did so at a snail's pace when it was absolutely necessary. Anywhere else, Freed was zipping from one place to the next with all the grace of a cat. Laxus was really the only one that had seen him quite literally turn into a bumbling simpleton when he was first waking up; something that gave him no small amount of amusement.

He paused on the top step of the porch, and inhaled.  _'Home…'_  Freed had always smelled that way to him. Laxus had really always known that Freed was it for him, that they were destined to be together. His house was just that - just a house - until Freed had moved in. It was just a place he lived, and occasionally spent time at. Now, it was a home. It was his safe haven from the outside world. The scent of ozone and citrus filled his nostrils, then ink and lavender. And finally...  _'Holy shit, is he baking?'_

It wasn't often, but occasionally, Freed would actually bake. From what Laxus could tell, he'd found the old recipe book that was hidden in a cupboard somewhere, his mother's old cookbook, and had most likely opened it to the single earmarked page from his youth.

Cream cheese. Orange peel. Sugar. Shortening. Eggs. Vanilla. Salt. Flour. A dash of cinnamon.

A wide smile spread over Laxus' normally stony face when he heard the faint ding of a timer going off, then the oven opening and closing as metal shifted over itself.  _'Spritz cookies. God, I'm mated to a fucking angel!'_  His mom had always made them for him, every single year for Christmas. They'd even been able to make them together a couple times before she died. He'd been tasked with the cookie press, making sure each one was shaped into the most amazing and perfect little bit of doughy goodness before they went into the oven.

Laxus was ready to run inside the house, to swoop down and pull the Rune mage into his arms, but he froze again. Just when he heard a deep bass voice rumbling through the air. It was foreign to him, for the most part, but… Not. There was only one person it could have been, but Laxus still had a hard time believing that it was really Freed. Until he heard just what the guy was singing to the tune of  _Deck the Halls._

_Twort, d'Hérelle, Delbrück, and Hershey,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la._

He probably would have stayed outside and just listened to the odd lyrics that he knew his mate had made up, but Laxus couldn't help himself. He threw the door open, laughing when Freed whirled around while an awkwardly high-pitched, choked squeaking sound broke off the next verse of the song.

Freed's eyes were wide as his face was buried in a wall of muscle, with two strong arms wrapping around him and trapping his arms at his sides. He was lifted into the air, and blinked in surprise when he heard Laxus' soft, giddy laughter while they spun in a circle. Once he was settled on his feet, and before he could even try to find his voice, warm lips were on his. He never was able to pull away from the Slayer once they were like this. The world fell away until it was only the two of them, and Freed couldn't have been happier about it. Warmth suffused his entire being, the scent of nothing but Laxus filling each slow breath. He shivered in response to the small electric current that darted into him once Laxus' tongue brushed across his lips, parting them in silent invitation in an instant.

A soft growl rumbled through Laxus' chest when he felt thin fingers dancing over the muscles of his stomach, up his chest, lightly tracing the line of his jaw. He found a smirk pulling at one corner of his mouth when blunt teeth playfully pulled at his lower lip. Two could play that game. Whenever Freed decided to get a little feisty - which was, thankfully, pretty often - Laxus was only ever able to escalate it. Call it his inherited draconic sense of pride, but he didn't want to be surpassed. So, he did the only thing that came to mind. Pushing Freed backwards while keeping their lips connected and plunging his tongue forcefully into the Rune mage's waiting cavern. All the way to the closest surface; a counter.

Freed whimpered when Laxus' hands wrapped around his legs and hoisted him up. He broke away from the kiss and scrambled further up the length of his mate's torso when he realized that the Slayer was trying to set him down on the counter. "Hot cookies!" he yelped before the blond could set him down on the scalding trays.

Laxus blinked slowly, trying to pull himself from the haze of lust that had overtaken him so he could understand what Freed was saying. Once the words registered, his brow furrowed and he turned to the side so he could see the counter. Laxus felt his jaw dropping when he saw the sheer amount of cookies laying across every surface of their kitchen. The oversized island was covered in trays of still-warm treats. The counters and the dining room table were adorned with layers of stackable cooling racks that were filled end-to-end. "What…"

Freed chuckled and ran his nose along the blond's furrowed brow and down to his ear - since he'd actually moved high enough that Laxus could technically kiss his navel, if he so chose. "I found a cookbook with a note in it. Something along the lines of 'The best cookies mom's ever made.'" He wriggled slightly, trying to get himself down so he could get the last batch of cookies out of the oven, then sighed. "Laxus, let me down."

"I don't wanna," he whispered in response with a smirk, his nose brushing slowly over the black apron that was covering his lover's torso as he carefully lowered him to his hips again.

"The cookies will burn."

Laxus grinned down at Freed, pressing a tender kiss to the tip of his nose when he saw the most adorable pout pushing out his lower lip. "Well, allow me, Mr. Justine," he purred. "You've done enough work, I think." The bright flush that crossed Freed's cheeks nearly buckled his knees, but he pushed past it and made his way to the oven with his mate wrapped around him. He laughed when Freed reached over and held up the oven mitt, and opened the oven after sliding his hand into it. "Where am I putting this one?" Laxus asked once the oven was closed again.

"The stove will be fine." Freed nibbled his lower lip nervously as Laxus set it down, and nestled his nose in the crook of the large Slayer's neck while he walked toward the now cooling cookies on the dining room table.

"Do I get to have one now?" Laxus chuckled. "I'd hate to spoil my lunch."

"I-If you would like, Laxus," Freed stuttered bashfully. Why he was suddenly nervous was beyond him. He'd made tons of these cookies just for his mate, having read in the cookbook - and then having it confirmed by Master Makarov - just how much Laxus loved them. Of course the Slayer was going to eat them at some point. Then again, Freed had subconsciously been planning on not being anywhere near Laxus when he took that first bite. Just so that there wouldn't be any pressure for him to pretend he liked it in the event that Freed had messed them up.

"Have you tried one yet?" Laxus asked softly. As Freed shook his head, he chuckled and plucked an already decorated green cookie in the shape of a Christmas tree, and put it between his teeth. He could already tell that the cookie was perfect just from the blend of ingredients, but he wanted Freed to sweat just a little bit.

Freed's breath hitched when he saw the excited, yet no less devious, gleam in those stormy blue eyes as his lover's head lowered in slow motion. His lips parted, his fingers tangling in the wild spikes atop Laxus' head, marvelling at just how soft they were even after all this time. Eyes locked, Freed's lips met with his around the cookie. He barely heard the soft crunch as Laxus took a bite, pulling the rest of the little treat into his mouth.  _'Good god, it tastes like him!'_  Freed thought in wonder. Tangy, citrusy, sweet. It melted across his taste buds, and all the cookie was missing was a small bit of electricity. Then it really would be just like the Thunder God that held him captive.

Laxus found it hard to swallow as he watched Freed's eye - the one not covered constantly by his hair - slide closed. He nearly choked when a soft moan bubbled up from the Rune mage's throat, the large Slayer's nostrils flaring excitedly once he was able to see a light flush dusting across Freed's cheeks. When he finally managed to get his mouth clear of food, Laxus wasted no time in capturing his mate's lips again in a chaste kiss. He'd missed this. Sure it had only been a few hours, but he had no problem admitting to anyone who cared to know that he was head over heels for the Rune mage.

Freed smiled as their foreheads pressed together. "I understand why you love these cookies so much," he whispered. "They're delicious."

"Yeah, they are," Laxus chuckled. He paused, watching as Freed's eyes flashed with uncertainty. "They're perfect, Freed. Just like how my mom used to make 'em."

Gone was the normally stoic mask that Freed kept firmly in place when they were in public, and in its wake was the biggest smile he'd ever let out. Pride suffused his entire being. One of his biggest concerns since waking that morning had been that he would mess up this surprise for his mate. He wanted everything to be perfect, and knowing that Laxus found his hard work to be just that left Freed utterly giddy. "Really?" he breathed, laughing when the Slayer smiled and nodded, their noses brushing together.

"Really, Freed," Laxus answered tenderly. He ignored the rest of the cookies that were begging for his attention and instead walked toward the living room, laughing when Freed squirmed in his arms and insisted that he could walk on his own. Instead, Laxus set the pair of them down on the couch, with Freed's legs straddling his hips. They sat in silence, both just basking in the sense of domestic calm that came from being with their mate. But that was when Laxus noticed something. Specifically, that Freed's hair was tied up. Sure, he only did it when he was working in the kitchen, but it never failed to have him hard as a rock and pushing the Rune mage down onto the closest surface.

Laxus wasn't even sure what exactly it was about seeing those long green strands of silky hair tied up into a high ponytail that got his blood boiling and a low growl rumbling through him, but it never failed to do just that. Honestly, he didn't even need a reason to lay his lover out over the closest surface he could find - even the floor, if necessary - but this time he had one.

Freed gasped when, between one second and the next, Laxus flipped and pressed his suddenly bare back against the couch cushions. He hadn't exactly been dressed for the day, but a simple pair of black slacks and a pale yellow dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up were suddenly in tatters and strewn across the living room. The only thing that was left on him was the black apron he'd yet to discard. "L-Laxus!"

"Your hair's up, Freed," the Slayer hissed, pinning his mate's hands to the arm of the couch when he tried to remove the only bit of cloth covering himself. "You know what it does to me…"

"I-I do," Freed stuttered. The feral glint of teeth as his hulking mate grinned down at him sent a shiver down Freed's spine. He knew exactly where things were headed. If the fact that his clothes had been torn off hadn't been enough of a clue, or how he could feel the velvety flesh of Laxus' arousal against his thigh, then the predatory growl that filled the air as his mouth was ravenously claimed definitely did the trick.  _'The cookies can wait,'_  he thought as one leg was hooked over a bulging forearm. "Oh god… Laxus!"

* * *

It was much later that night, with Freed and Laxus lying beneath the comforter on their bed, panting heavily and coated in a thin sheen of sweat, that the Rune mage realized he still hadn't given Laxus his small gift for Christmas Eve. It was a tradition, but he was far too exhausted to move right then. And the present was in Laxus' nightstand drawer anyway.

After their romp on the couch, and then the subsequent second round on the floor when Laxus went on autopilot and rolled to lie next to Freed - dragging the Rune mage with him as he fell - they had finally pulled themselves away from one another long enough to box up the cookies that had been made. Along with turning off the oven. The rest of their day was spent in the den, cuddling in front of the fireplace while they both read. It still shocked Freed just how much his mate loved reading, but he wouldn't complain. It was a pleasant surprise, and one that he was definitely fine with.

They had made lunch together, then taken a bath. Freed had given Laxus a massage, and they called Bickslow and Bacchus to wish them a Merry Christmas, since they wouldn't be at the guild the next day, and would most likely be passed out from a night of drinking for a good portion of the holiday anyway. Laxus had decided to cook dinner, saying that if he had to see Freed with a ponytail in again so soon after coming home that afternoon, they would starve to death from being locked in the bedroom.

Calloused fingers lightly massaged the length of Freed's spine, and he slowly turned his head to look up into half-lidded stormy eyes. "Mmm," he hummed, shifting as he laid sprawled out over his lover's chest.

Laxus glanced at the alarm clock and smirked. "Merry Christmas, Freed."

Freed chuckled breathlessly. "Merry Christmas, Laxus. I love you."

"Love you, too." Laxus was more than happy with how their anniversary had turned out. Sure, it was what most people would have considered boring, just spending the day at home, and not going out to celebrate, but it worked for them. They spent most of their time away from home to begin with, between missions and Laxus learning the  _proper_ way to take over the guild for his grandfather when it was handed down to him.

He knew that when the time came, he would sorely miss taking missions with Freed. Their team had essentially dissolved. Evergreen had started her family with Elfman, and she'd decided that she was going to stay home with the kids for a few years, at the very least. Bickslow was married - much to everyone's surprise - to Bacchus, and moving away to join Quattro Cerberus. It was just him and Freed again, but soon… Soon, Freed would be taking missions on his own.

"You look like there is something on your mind," Freed whispered.

"Just thinking about the team," Laxus answered sadly. Freed nodded in understanding with a gentle smile on his face. They'd discussed it as soon as Evergreen had the twins. How things would go if Bickslow ever decided to settle down, if the team split for one reason or another. He and Freed would always be together, but they wouldn't always be able to take missions together. And he already knew what his mate was going to say.

"I could always stay," Freed said, just as he had countless times before. "When you become guild master, I could-"

"No," Laxus sighed. "You're a mage, and there are plenty of people that need you." He smiled then, watching as a light blush dusted the Rune mage's cheeks. "As long as you always come home to me, then I'll be fine. I'll miss the hell out of you, though. And I'll worry… But… I'll be fine."

"Well…" Freed's lips pursed in thought for a moment. "I could find someone to team up with, so I'm not solo… It is safer that way."

Laxus blinked. "But who?"

Freed shrugged helplessly, and chuckled. "I am not sure. Levy, most likely, since we get along and she is a pleasure to be around."

"And then you'd get to hang out with Gajeel," Laxus laughed, watching as Freed sighed and dropped his head. It was no secret that he and Gajeel just didn't connect in the slightest. Levy, definitely, but when the Rune mage had to be around her mate? Not at all. Laxus did though, so it made finding a couple to go on a double date with fairly easy. "He's not that bad."

"He…" Freed shook his head. "I have no words for the amount of idiocy that spews from his mouth on a regular basis."

"You make him sound like Natsu."

Freed found himself chuckling at that. "No, Gajeel is a genius in comparison to Natsu."

"Well, we'll see what happens when the time comes. How about that?" He felt the man in his arms nod before sinking further into his embrace. After a few minutes spent in silence, Laxus finally remembered what he'd been wanting to ask Freed earlier in the day. "Hey, what was that song you were singing when I came home?"

Freed's face was aflame, and he shook his head. He knew it was coming, but he'd hoped that Laxus would forget about what he'd heard.

Laxus couldn't help but laugh though. Softly, of course. Freed had told him that the purpose of him going to the guild for paperwork had been at the Rune mage's request. He wanted to surprise his mate with those cookies he'd made, and had commissioned the Slayer's grandfather in assisting him in the little scheme. Which meant that the old coot hadn't forgotten the importance of Christmas Eve. He had just been making it that much more special. "Would you sing it for me?" he whispered.

Freed choked and sharply turned to gape at his mate. "Wh-What?! No!" His shock and determination to keep it hidden forever faltered when he saw a pout pushing out a full lower lip. Laxus knew he could never say no to that face, and he capitalized on it when push came to shove. Granted, Freed almost never denied the Slayer.

"But, Freed," Laxus whined. Freed's eyes widened, and he fought to hide his triumphant grin. "It's Christmas…"

"Laxus…"

"Please?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake…" Freed dropped his head and buried his face in the muscular chest beneath him.

"I thought you loved me…"

Freed sighed and found himself smiling. "You know I do," he laughed.

"But… If you don't sing for me… I could develop a stutter…" When the Rune mage lifted his head with a raised brow, Laxus pushed his lower lip out dramatically. "P-P-P-Pweeease don't do dis to me!"

Freed laughed and closed his teeth over Laxus' lip that was pushed out, lightly nibbling on it and pulling an aroused groan from the Slayer. "Fine," he mumbled around the bit of flesh in his mouth.

When Freed pulled away, Laxus grinned. Just like a kid on Christmas. In the ten years they had known each other, he'd never gotten to hear the smaller man sing. Not once. Freed knew about his passion for music, but he hadn't known the Rune mage could even carry a tune to begin with. Laxus sure as hell couldn't, that was for sure.

Freed looked away and started mumbling the lyrics he'd made up. Glancing at the man beneath him when Laxus loudly cleared his throat.

"I wanna hear you," Laxus said, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Enhanced senses aside, I wanna hear it like you were doing it earlier."

Freed sighed and looked right into those stormy blues that blinkered with happiness every time they looked at him. "Forget elves, all Santa's helpers," he said louder, though his voice was monotone.

Laxus rolled his eyes. "You were singing with more feeling earlier," he sighed. "C'mon, do it for real, baby."

Freed blushed again as a calloused thumb brushes across his cheek, beneath his bangs. That single term of endearment made his heart swell, nearly bursting with love for the surprisingly - to everyone else - sweet mage.

Before anything else, Freed smiled and reached over to the nightstand on Laxus' side of the bed. He pulled out the small gift that wasn't even wrapped and handed it to the blond.

Laxus raised an intrigued brow as he looked at the painted ceramic ornament. It was obvious that Freed had done it, considering he knew that the green-haired angel in his arms loved intricate art, and was damned good at it. If the little signature wasn't enough of a clue, then the odd little spider-like image definitely was.

A strange green polyhedron wore a Santa hat cocked off to one side. Just below it was a cylindrical grey body wrapped in Christmas lights, with eight spindly legs reaching out across the blue and white background.

If Laxus had learned anything about the Rune mage over the past decade, it was that he had the strangest sense of humor. And that he was fucking adorable. "Alright, I give," Laxus chuckled. "Who is this?"

"Phillip," Freed answered simply. "You should be thankful he exists, Laxus. He saves Christmas every year."

"Huh?"

Freed smiled at the perplexed look that sat on Laxus' face.  _'Good Lord, do I love seeing him like this.'_ He took a deep breath, shoring his resolve, then started singing the song he'd made up to the tune of  _Deck the Halls_ while painting the little ornament for his mate.

_Forget elves, all Santa's helpers._

Laxus grinned and looked into those deep green eyes as he felt Freed's low bass rumbling through his own chest from where they were pressed together. He really did love hearing it, and the depth of the pitch alone was giving him goosebumps. " _Fa la la la la, la la la la,_ " he sang in response, laughing along with the Rune mage.

_Frosty, Rudolph, and the others,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la._

_So, who can save all of Christmas?_  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.  
It's Phillip the Bacteriophage,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

 _Twort, d'Hérelle, Delbrück, and Hershey,_  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.  
All worked hard to keep us healthy,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

 _RNA, DNA, and Genomes,_  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.  
A mosaic structural gem,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

 _Phillip kills the virus and its kin,_  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.  
Devouring it all from within,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

 _Join me now in Yuletide praises,_  
Fa la la la, la la la la, la la la.  
Thank science for Bacteriophages,

" _Fa la la la la, la la la la_ ," they sang in unison to end the song.

"So, Phillip is a bacterio-thing…" Laxus said with a smile.

"A bacteriophage," Freed corrected softly.

"Right. And he kills viruses."

"Exactly. By burrowing inside of them and working from the inside out."

"And Hershey?"

"Twort, d'Hérelle, Delbrück, and Hershey _,"_  Freed answered, "Are scientists that discovered and studied bacteriophages and how to use them in vaccines."

Laxus shook his head, pulling Freed into a tender kiss. "You're a total dork, baby," he whispered against Freed's lips.

Freed chuckled softly. "Possibly."

"But…" Laxus grinned and rolled them over. "I love it."

"So I've heard," Freed grinned, running his hands lightly over Laxus' shoulders until he could feel the short hairs at the nape of his neck.

"Do you know what else I love?" When Freed shook his head, Laxus gave him a devilish smile. "Hearing that sexy voice of yours."

Freed moaned as the blond descended on him, his eyes rolling back when a large hand slithered down the length of his body to tease him.

"Sing for me with your hair up, and we'll never leave the house again," Laxus growled, feeling the shiver that ran through his slender mate.

Freed's eyes flashed with excitement, and he looped an arm around Laxus' neck, pulling him down into a heated kiss. "Clairvoyance seems to be another of your many skills," he whispered. "That's how I was planning on waking you up in the morning." A long moan barreled past his lips when he felt Laxus' skin thrumming with electricity, and several subsequent jolts passing between their bodies as the Slayer moved with more purpose.

"I'll show you skills, baby," Laxus hissed, baring his teeth and biting into the patch of golden scales on Freed's neck that was usually hidden by his cravat.  _'Fuck, I love Christmas,'_ he thought when perfectly manicured nails raked down his back as he drove himself deep within his mate.

"O-Oh, God… L-Laxus!"

_**.The End.** _

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And that's all, folks. Merry Christmas, Happy holidays! And seriously, check out this page on Etsy. Phillip (or Phil) is amazing! 
> 
> etsy.com/listing/254939308/phil-the-pha-la-la-la-phage


End file.
